Godzilla Wants To Expand His Acting Horizons

 

World's Biggest Selfie?

 

Well, you would need a big phone to accommodate McG's giant fingers.

I wonder how many bars he gets, on average? And, does he even have 5G coverage?

Godzilla is in over his head in giant plants

 

Incredible. Now it looks like the Island of Giant Succulents has snagged the King of the Monsters. What must be especially frustrating for Godzilla is that succulents, being full of water, are naturally resistant to fire--even nuclear fire.

If only they had plants like these for "All Monsters Attack"--they just might have saved that film.

Moguera Plants His Foot...In Plants

 

Amazing. Apparently Moguera has been transported to the Island of Giant Succulents. As you can see, plants that normally would be only a few inches tall are topping well over several feet...and in some cases (like the ones behind him), hundreds. One can only speculate if this is a natural phenomenon, or if someone has genetically engineered these oversized stunners.

Rick & Morty & Godzilla

RICK:                     Morty, hey Morty-uuuurrrrrpp!-look out there, Morty! Look what’s coming!

MORTY:                Holy crap, Rick! It’s a huge kaiju! And it’s approaching the car! I think it’s Godzilla or something!

RICK:                     Yeah, whatever, Morty! Those things are so way over-rated. They-uuuuuurrrp!-they think that just because they’ve got movie deals and can step on buildings that they’re actually relevant. It’s a con, Morty! It’s a crock!

MORTY:                Uh, I think that being able to destroy a city is pretty impressive, Rick!

RICK:                     Oh, you wanna see impressive, Morty? Urrrrrrrp, then watch this! (*CLICK*)

MORTY:                Holy shit, Rick! Your face is absolutely frickin’ huge!

GOD RICK:           I know, Morty! Isn’t it great! I just hit the God Mode button underneath the dash. Look at that little bugger pissing his Japanese pants, ha ha ha!

MORTY:                Uh, I don’t think kaiju wear any—wait a minute! What was that about a God Mode button?

GOD RICK:           Urrrrrrp, yeah, Morty! It automatically opens a portal to some of the most primordial shit in the universe, Morty! It lets me do pretty much anything. How do you think I turned myself into a pickle?

MORTY:                So you’re saying you had a God Mode button in the car…that you never told me about?

GOD RICK:           Uh yeah, urrrrrrp!

MORTY:                That means I never had to shove those giant seeds up my butt! I could have pressed the God Mode button and have them teleported somewhere! Or turned into, like, a…a…a pastrami sandwich or something!

GOD RICK:           Funny how that’s the first thing that came into your mind, Morty. I would’ve turned them into Orion Nebula hookers. Man, those girls rock!

MORTY:                I can’t believe this! I can’t believe you would do this, Rick!

GOD RICK:           I had to, Morty. The God Mode button requires emotional stability, tranquility, and a sense of humor…none of which you currently have. Judging by your reaction, I obviously made the right decision. Urrrrrp!

MORTY:                I hate this, Rick! I hate how your manipulation of reality causes it to lose all meaning, outside of your own stupid jokes!

GOD RICK:           How many times have I told you, Morty—reality doesn’t exist. It’s all in the eye of the beholder.

MORTY:                Yeah? Well, I behold that this sucks, Rick!

GOD RICK:           Oh, that’s real original, Morty.

MORTY:                And sometimes, so do you!

GOD RICK:           Morty, it’s lucky for you that I know that you’re just having an irrational reaction thanks to your pre-adolescent intellect.

MORTY:                An irrational…?!

GOD RICK:           Oh wait, I think the kaiju’s gone. Good thing for him, too, I was thinking about turning him into an end table.

MORTY:                Uh, you mean like that end table that’s sitting out there on the lawn?

 

GOD RICK:           Whoops! Urrrrrrrp! I’ve gotta remember to stop projecting my thoughts when I’ve pressed this thing. Hold on. (*CLICK*)

RICK:                     Ah, that’s better. And don’t even think about pressing the button, Morty. It opens you up to a whole universe of possibilities that you couldn’t possibly handle. It’d just turn you into another Jerry. And is that what you want, Morty?

MORTY:                …not really…

RICK:     Good, ‘cause I really didn’t need your mental collapse hanging over me, urrrrrrrp! Man, I can’t wait for Season Five.

Gaiking & MechaGodzilla want you to BIKE METRO!

 

BIG NEWS! Gaiking and MechaGodzilla have partnered up with the City of L.A.'s Metro Bike division, to let the people know about the virtues of renting a Metro bike to get around! They recently paid a visit to one of the many Metro bike rental hubs around DTLA, which are accessible to anyone using a credit card.

And as you can see, the bike rates are quite affordable, too! Plus, you can pay for your bike usage at the hub, or pay beforehand online! You can see how stoked McG is about that!

When asked about why they chose to appear in their little-seen diminutive size modes in this campaign, Gaiking said, "Look, this is something that's much bigger than us, and we're not afraid to show that. With car traffic down thanks to the pandemic, it's safer and more convenient than ever to get around on two wheels, even if you don't own them. Every car off the road that's replaced by a bike means that much less pollutants get into the atmosphere, an issue which we here in California are more aware of now than ever. So when compared with that, appearing pretty small on a bike seems...well, small by comparison."

 

Metro bikes can be found all over the city of Los Angeles. More information can be found at the Metro Bike Web Site.

 

Look out below: things could get flat

Don't say we didn't warn you. Hope your insurance has a kaiju clause in it.

Insert your caption here

 Yeah, seriously. We want to know what words you'd put in Shodaigoji's mouth. It'll be hilarious. The winner gets a genuine 1972 Chrysler Cordoba with Corinthian leather.

Moguera a la Warhol

Superstar kaiju! Moguera, via the Factory.

OK, OK, OK...no, Andy didn't do this, but if he were alive today, he almost certainly would have. I mean, what screams "pop culture icon" more than a corrugated metal robot that resembles a chicken with a pair of rabbit ears? And on a surfboard, no less? It's genius! Genius, I tell you! Visionary!

And admit it, Moguera also would have been perfect opposite Udo Kier in Andy's Flesh For Frankenstein. 😆

Gaiking Neon

New look. New armor. Same attitude. Gaiking Neon.

Beach Blanket Kaiju

It appears that Frankie Avalon just might have some competition...

(Insert Dick Dale music here. We would do it ourselves, but we can't afford it.)

You gotta admit, Moguera is one groovy kaiju. Kowabunga, dude-san.